Tuesday, February 26, 2013

My First Taste of Freedom – Part 1

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What happened to me?!...I have had some strange experiences since November of 2012. This is when I first felt an overwhelming surge of energy through my body that seemed to collect in my bottom lip. The lower lip got so tight and puckered that I couldn't force a smile, and I did my best to act normal so that nobody would notice. When this happened for the first time, I also smelled electricity. The kind of smell that I can only compare to the haunted house rides at a fair, where you ride through on low budget metal track in a rusty cart. The first time I felt this was during a high energy, life and death moment and I could not sleep that night. I blamed it on the adrenaline, and perhaps it was.

   The next time I felt this surge was during a cranial sacral therapy (CST) session. Someone had mentioned this form of therapy to me over the summer but I had not heard of it before. Around October, a teacher mentioned CST, and that her friend was coming into town that practiced this in a medical setting. I was fascinated and not one to be scared of trying something new so I agreed to give it a try, especially since it seemed to be popping up in my life quite a bit recently. I asked if it was like getting a massage. She told me, not quite, but you will have your socks knocked off. So, I waited for my session with so much curiosity and wondered what it could possibly be like. I did some research which did not do this form of therapy justice. I believe it is an individualized experience and one that continues to change you months after the session.

I rested on a massage table and we spoke for some time, she felt areas in my abdomen, feet, hands, neck, and skull. She made some light adjustments to my skull, pelvis, and other areas. The next thing I realized, I had a great rush running throughout my body and all I could do was to breathe. It was almost overwhelming but felt wonderful at the same time. I could feel air rushing up and down my spine and my lip became tight. I just let my breath flow out, puckered up like a fish. When I left, I felt free. I also felt exhausted. I slept for a long time that night and into the next day. When I woke up I began to let things go, things that I no longer needed. Relationships that were toxic, people who hurt me, and past trauma that I didn't need to hang on to.

This was my first taste of freedom in years. The moment when I found myself buried in the person I thought I was, or who I was supposed to be. I stopped caring what people thought of me which was particularly difficult because I think too much about those sorts of things.

It has been about three months since that day and I am proud of the things I let go. When you stop spending so much energy worrying about people who don't lift you up then you have less energy to focus on things that actually mean something to you, and people who support you in your path to being a better person. "You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down" - Toni Morrison

Off and on I still get the rush of energy through my body that sometimes pools in my puckered lower lip, which I use deep breaths to release it. Most recently this happened in a Kundalini Yoga class while doing whistle breath. This breath is very powerful for me and I do it whenever I am feeling anxious or out of balance. 

In the next post I will describe my feelings about our Vagus Nerve and Enteric Nervous System along with the connection of these through our body; perhaps even a meridian or two.
Stay Tuned!
 
 
 

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